Why Perfection Can Be Toxic
Being a new mom is hard. We want to be the best for our child. The best for our partner. The best for our family. And we strive for perfection because there’s a lot on the line. I mean, an entire human’s existence is in our hands! So of course we want to be perfect.
But perfection can be a dangerous goal. What is considered perfect? For that, you typically look outside for comparison. And today perfection is everywhere.
Just a quick scroll through your social channels will reveal everyone’s ‘perfect’ lives. And the culmination of all these bits of perfection leads to this Super Mom persona that we strive for. We try to be all things to all people because that’s what Super Mom does. That’s a ton of pressure and it’s no wonder moms are more overwhelmed than ever. We are chasing a fictional character based on portions of truths we see in people’s lives.
Don’t get me wrong, I think there is a place online for all those perfect moments. Because sometimes they can be few and far between in a day full of blowouts and blowups! But as a mom who consumes this type of content on a regular basis it’s so important to keep the comparisons to a minimum.
Take those posts for what they are. A beautiful moment in time. Appreciate them, and then appreciate your own beautiful moments. They may not look as glamorous, but they are beautiful nonetheless.
The early a.m. cuddles on the couch in front of a cartoon you’ve seen a thousand times. Beautiful.
The lunch outing that didn’t end in a all out tantrum from your toddler. Beautiful.
The first day your baby takes a nap longer than two hours. Beautiful.
These are all small moments, but are HUGE for new moms. Soak them in. Keep them locked up tight mentally. You’ll need to look back on those when you have those not-so-great moments. And you’ll need them when you start to question your perfection as a mom.
Those small moments can give you the confidence booster you need when you start down that comparison trap that we so easily fall in to. If you feel the creep of self-doubt, think back to these moments. Remember how they felt.
We all know what a day in the life of a mom REALLY looks like, so why do we search for validation of it online? We are living it every single day. The only validation we need is from ourselves.
Search instead for inspiration, not validation.
Thank you all so much for stopping by to read this guest post. I hope you enjoyed it, and that you will use the above links to head on over to Andrea’s website/blog, as well as her social media accounts, to view more of her content. Also stay tuned to Andrea’s website/blog as she will be featuring a post from Chaos with Cookies titled “The Perfect Mom?” today!